Write Inside Yourself is Love

This is a vulnerable post, in my life of outward success if you can point to one area where I seemed to have failed it would be in the realm of love and relationships. At 45 I am single and without a child or partner. Many nights after great day of work and feeling fulfilled, I returned to an empty home and lonely.

Many people suggest that I am picky and that I have set my standards too high. I am not surprised if that is true. I came from seeing my parents and my brother’s first marriages as pools of conflict more than love and so I am hesitant to say yes to a relationship till I feel I can commit to the person for forever. And so yes, I want someone who I feel can provide that for me and I will commit to being that for him too.

At the same time, I am not without great love. I have been in communities whose care for me keep me buoyant in all storms of life. Each time I call for a hug, I always get one if not two or a waterfall of love from all around the world. My sisters’ (by choice not by birth) love are fierce. They are there always tender and strong. They tell me, they are ever ready to get on a call, they make it clear I matter to them. My close male friends are loving, tender and dependable. The ones I choose to surround myself with are precious. The years of learning to be a great friend and to build stronger friendships is my most valuable life skill.

I can land in almost 40 countries in the world and find a home that welcomes me. That’s because of agape. Agape is a Greco-Christian term referring to love, “the highest form of love, charity” and “the love of God for man and of man for God”. It embraces a universal, unconditional love that transcends and persists regardless of circumstance. I have not one person there for me, I have been there for many and the many are there for me. So while I am lonely, bereft of sensual love, I am never without love.

In this period of journaling for self awareness for 2018, I am sharing my reflections on love and relationships that I write into being — simply by putting in on paper and now sharing this with my Medium Community. Let’s write a LOVE-filled 2018 together.

Yes I have standards. They are not high or low and that’s because they are mine and I am the one who can and has to hold the vision for them. Dream big and reach deep so that you fully express yourself into Being. I am here for your love dreams too. For those partnered or married… take this time to have gratitude for what you have and also to deepen the practices and rituals you want to establish in your relationship for 2018.

I am sharing my Lifebook journaling on love here. In Lifebook we ask ourselves the following questions. Many the reflections on this help your love life too.

Lifebook Questions: Your Premise refers to the foundational beliefs you hold about this category. What do you believe?

I believe:

Our relationship is the foundation of our lives

Extraordinary relationships require extraordinary people — So I want to turn myself into Mrs Right for Mr Right

Love requires action

Deep caring for the one I love.

Vulnerability in a romantic relationship. Oneness and Spiritual and Emotional connection and intimacy is core.

There is someone perfect for me and that person wants me, is waiting for me and longing for me too.

I have a relationship right now that has the potential to be absolutely extraordinary if I were to make a commitment to step up and make it happen.

Lifebook Questions: Your Vision refers to the ideal state you would like to achieve in this important category.

I want to be…

Deeply in love, seen in our displays of love and intimacy. We are best friends and we hear each other’s dreams. We support each other to be our best selves.

We are attracted to each other and our sex life is active and exciting. We take romantic dates even as parents.

We have our personal lives and we have our communal love life. We grow together and deepen our spiritual and emotional lives though our love.

Magnificent love affair over the decades — fulfilling both of us.

His qualities are

1) Community builder — helps others

2) Entrepreneur/change agent and stands for a cause

3) We laugh always — we have fun

4) We are physically affectionate, we hug, kiss and hold hands

5) He adores me and tells me and tells others and shows it to the communities we belong to — no doubt that we are special or crucial to each other

6) We respect each other — speak well of each other always and promote our work and him.

7) Dignity in the way we communicate with each other

8) Deep regard — respect and so proud to be in the relationship

9) Steady and supportive in our lives — we share a mission and grow wealthier and happier serving that mission.

10) We have a oneness in our relationship — our happiness make each other happy

11) We put each other first before anything else — We are the most important person on the planet

12) We are fit for each other and ourselves

13) We are an unshakeable team

14) Committed to constant growth as a couple — more loving passionate and sensual — learning and doing new things together

15) We are sexually compatible and we are learning to be better lovers and enjoy pleasing each other and teasing and flirting forever

16) We dance together and participate in dance competitions as part of our hobbies

17) We love to travel and do mission work together

18) We hold salons (gatherings). A salon is a gathering of people under the roof of an inspiring host, held partly to amuse one another and partly to refine the taste and increase the knowledge of the participants through conversation. These gatherings often consciously followed Horace’s definition of the aims of poetry, “either to please or to educate” (“aut delectare aut prodesse”).

19) We sing at karaokes for fun

20) Does things for me and doesn’t want me to work too hard. Treats me like a lady. 21) Gift each other gifts for fun and for excitement — Playful

22) Intelligent and deep conversations for discernment and explorations

23) Sees the world as one place and doesn’t do boundaries — we travel and live all over the world and contribute to any community we belong to.

Lifebook Questions: Your Purpose refers to the compelling reasons behind what you want in this category.

To have a great companion and lover for my life journey.

To be able to learn to love deeply

To experience deep love

Sharing all the enthusiasm of life together.

Grow each other and support each other to our full potential

That safe space and support from life challenges

That play and create space

When two become one and become stronger and more vulnerable and loving

Someone to throw ideas together with and I can trust fully — so that I can ask deeper questions about work and life.

Sharing common resources — finances, legal, work mission, raising a happy family

Bouncing ideas — intellectual sparing partner

Lifebook Questions: Your Strategy refers to the specific actions that will get you from where you are now to where you want to be.

Our Strategy to Conscious Relationship Building

Time Commitment to one date night a week

My partner spends most of his time with me and when not with me — he messages and keeps me updated where he is. He loves his work and I love mine but when it’s our time, we are present to each other.

We have a game plan on being a great couple. We communicate often and see how to be one even as individuals

Express appreciation daily

Crave out time for each other

Home for sensuality

Complaints vs Compliments ratio — we watch and keep this a habit

My Strategy to meet my Life Partner

Sign up for a Dating Service

Look at my Linkedin/Facebook for the type of man and get connected.

Look for them at my current communities that reflect the values I have.

Start my hobbies and meet more men and people from that

Being ready for a relationship.

Here are some relationship prompts for you to use to go deeper and wider with your Love Reality..

Love Relationship

1. I experience myself as deserving of ….

2. When I was a young child I thought relationships …

3. My role model for relationships is … because …

4. What I am most frightened about relationships is …

5. I get angry/hurt when …

6. I show love / affection when ….

7. A reflection of my commitment to loving myself is …

—

Your Love Coach is IN

INside yourself!

And we are here to support you in that journey

TIME

We recommend you journal 20 minutes a day — for the 7 sentences (14 minutes) and then a minute to rest and 5 minutes to analyze the responses you gave.

Remember the aim is self discovery and not the most written or the best written.

Write in the language of your origin — the one that you express yourself best in

1) Write without stopping — if you have run out of things to write, just put your pen to the paper and re-write the sentence completion again and again until you feel like writing something else.

2) Yes- Hand written not computer. Studies have shown that is more powerful and connects more emotionally.

REFLECT

3) Stop writing and read through what you responded for that 1 sentence completion.

4) Check for any themes that may have pop up

For example, if you mention river, tree, flowers etc. This means you have a possible nature theme. You can then see if nature matters to your response.

Or if you mention father, child, love, home. Then you have a family theme arising. You can see if this matters to your response and actions for that section.

Repeated words and thematic phrases are important to notice a they present an underlying mental model that you are using or find important

5) Check for any strong emotions as you write or in the words you use

For example, “hate “— is a strong word or “traitor” etc

For these stronger emotions, you may want to start a new sentence completion for that particular word.

Like when I say “hate” I ……..

I called him/her “traitor” ………

COACHING

7) If you want an external coaching support — take a picture of the responses and email them to coach@marionneubronner.com — we will be doing this for free the 2 months of December 2017 and January 2018 and a gift to our readers and to really get to know you and support you. Wait for our response — give us 1 week. And email us if you don’t hear anything by then

OBSERVE YOUR NEW CONSCIOUSNESS

8) Keep track of your life outside of journaling to see if the writing is already affecting the rest of your life — for when you start sorting your life — you will be able to discern better and act faster and in a more integrated manner

Excited? Eager?
Afraid?

YES! these are the emotions that arise when you challenge yourself to be True to yourself.

BEWARE

You may start to hear a little voice of wisdom more and more — and it will bring you a deeper love you never knew could exist.

Write Inside Yourself is Love.