Forgiveness and Difficult Conversations during these Family Gatherings
The last few weeks I have been exploring deeply into how to wire and re-wire brains and hearts towards recovering from a trauma or failed business relationship at work. My talk on Enlightened Capitalist Summit, (Nov 28th at 4pm PST or Nov 29th at 8am SIN) is about “the how to” and “the why to” forgive. (https://summit.enlightenedcapitalist.org/?aff=marionneubronner-vs)
Too many startups fail when their co-founders enter great disagreements and human challenges disrupt the technology progress they are making. Too many corporate change management programs fail because the stakeholders don’t play well because of ‘their history’.
I will be facilitating at the Family Business Network retreat in Vietnam the last week of November and the focus is on compensation and succession planning — topics rife with potential satisfaction and legacy building and also potential pain and breakups with a family setting.
Mindfulness is key to any Difficult Conversation. Without the ability to self-regulate and be aware of your own triggers before you open your mouth is crucial. Without such a mindful readiness, there can be little or no alignment and so any decisions forward are either futile or superficial.
The year end of family gatherings from Thanksgiving to Hanukkah to Christmas to Kwanzaa will offer lots of time to reconnect deeply and to make new journeys together. Or Not. You go into the gathering either triggered and in memories of pain of the past or just simply avoid meeting some family and friends because it feels easier. However you could also make this 2017 really meaningful when you allow yourself to mindfully consider strategies and tools.
Here are some ways to bring your mindfulness readiness:
What does it really mean to forgive?
Mentally Remember
The old wounds are not triggered when old thoughts arise or a situation that seems familiar arises
Self Awareness allows you to discuss with the other party — some clear agreements and boundary setting that helps them understand where you are coming from
Self Awareness allows you to sense before going into a project or relationship what could be areas of emotional challenge or fear for you and you manage your own emotional needs before starting such a relationship
Self Regulation to manage the pain of old wounds and be calm
Forgiveness Means
Moving from OLD THOUGHT to NEW THOUGHT or CLEAR THOUGHT
A Person willing to forgive is always being aware of the need to brainstorm and implement with the desire to understand, forgive and release old limiting or historical thoughts which do not work any more for more NEW and CLEAR THOUGHTS so as to fully actualize
Meditate, Visualize and Create the Conversations that you do not control or predict, rather than you set the tone for calmness and new ideas and new ways of being around. Be able to speak in a tone of openness and forgiveness and then see how the other person reacts. How they respond is not within your control or your concern as well. The act of being forgiving is a mindful choice.
Before you enter the conversation, I suggest you use the “Just like Me” exercise to see in humanity and fragility in all our conversations and the intentions.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=naJxtWapaEI
Ready to forgive deeply and love deeper?
Enjoy your family and the love you create each time you choose to be the beacon of light and love in your life.
Happy Family Days. Feastdays. Happy Days
Your Mindfulness Coach,
Marion
